Before I dig deep into this...yes, it is true. Just promise me that you will NOT be sad.
September 22nd, 2014.
I moved to New York. Only had a suit case. Maybe a carry on too. I did not know where I would sleep. Did not know anyone. Only had $2,000 to my name. My mom did not sleep at all that month. But here's the thing about me, I do things that people are afraid to do. New York Film Academy gave me a partial scholarship & I already took out mad student loans, so there was no turning back.
I slept my first week in a hotel in Queens. Anticipating my next move, I found a lady on craigslist from the Bronx who was renting out a room. The moment I stepped off the 6 train at Cypress Avenue, I wanted to hop back on. It was indeed the hood. I walked to the address & met Stacey. My first roommate. She had that tough uptown accent. The kind of accent that reminded you of an old Spike Lee movie or an episode from New York Undercover. She showed me the room. The walls were blue and red. I thought it was tacky. I saw mad roaches outside on the door. Heard loud music playing from the hallway. She told me all I had to pay to move in was $850. I did it.
Fast forward to a month later. I found an apartment on craigslist. A broker was looking for a 4th roommate to occupy a room in the neighborhood of BedStuy. Hell yeah. I took it. Stacey's situation did not work out after a couple of weeks. I bounced around from a few hotels. Slept on a couple of couches. October 22nd, I moved into 1078 Dekalb Avenue. 3rd floor. One roommate was an artist/drug addict/alcoholic from Thailand, the other was a young Spanish-Asian hair stylist from California who later became one of my best homies, & the 3rd roommate was this social justice/human rights mixed African chick from Berlin. They became family.
So that was the beginning. That was how it all started for me in New York. Through the years...I graduated from The New York Film Academy, lived at two other apartments, got my heart broke badly, became homeless twice, hooked up with the wrong crowd, chopped off my hair & went natural, but most importantly, I find out what my purpose was.
I am an artist. My job was working as a technical support agent for merchants who used a point of sale system that my company sold. My gift was taking photographs of people & creating visual art. My passion was traveling, but my profession was to be determined.
I loved New York. I still love New York, but New York was the most lonely place in the world to me. It taught me how to hustle. It taught me how to survive. Nothing was ever handed out to me in New York. I worked for every photo gig, I worked to network & meet new people. I worked to stay sane, because some days I literally felt like I was falling a part. I was in New York alone, meaning I had no family or close friends there. That taught me how to become independent. That also taught me how sad I was. I suffered strongly with depression. I was broke a lot of times because rent ate my entire check. Outside of my entire family, my mother & uncle were the only ones who visited me. I learned who my true supporters were during those dark times. New York is not for the weak & timid. You are to trust no one in New York. You can not even turn your head for one second. You have the corrupt cops, the greedy Jewish landlords, gentrification, a ton of mentally ill humans who live on the streets, struggling artists, drug dealers, prostitutes, & rats. Just to name a few. New York had a culture that I adjusted to quickly. I understood New York & the people from there. I felt like I was one.
Now, I am reaching out for something better than I had before. In my journey, I discovered that my goals changed. That fantasy of being a starving artist in New York was not all it was cracked up to be. It was fun at first, but reality is real. Why should I continue to settle for a room in a 3 bedroom apartment when I can pay a mortgage for the same amount. Why be satisfied with constantly hustling just to live paycheck to paycheck because of the cost of living. Why go to work all day at a job you hate...just to come home & have no one to enjoy dinner with. Why live 760 miles away from the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with? Why settle for just a little bit?
At some point, you have to speak up for yourself to yourself, just to tell yourself that you deserve better. You deserve more. Why waste another day living in a place where you have completely tapped out? We stay in situations because it seems like it is the best thing to do because it looks good. But the moment you believe you completed God's purpose in a person, place or thing...is the moment you should prepare yourself for what is next.
In less than three years...I will be 30 years old. By then, I have already traveled through Europe & Africa. Lived in four different states. Produced a ton of work (visual art). Continuing to add to my book because the one thing I learned within the past year was that my story matter. Every struggle, fight, disappointment, award, degree, & success...allowed me to create my own story. New York was a huge chapter. Probably my favorite one because it gave me the guts to realize that I want more.
& if you know anything about me...I always get what I want because I go after it by any means. All I can say is...stay tuned for what I am about to give birth. It will definitely be worth every penny.
Thank you, New York!
