“Today I affirm: I do not wish to have power over men; but over myself.”
“Note to self: This is your journey, your body, your mind, and your spirit. Dig deep, own it and start doing things for you and by you.”
Photos by Lizzy Johnston
What has been a non-obvious turning point for you, either personally or professionally?
Realizing that my dreams of becoming a documentary photographer has not been my main priority since moving to Atlanta last year. I have become so wrapped up in being an adult that I have neglected being an artist. I give my job 8 hours of my life daily just to go home and not work on my own goals. It has been a hard pill to swallow accepting that I am not tired, just uninspired. This has caused me to be unfulfilled a lot during 2018. Some days it is difficult, but that is when I find myself tapping into selfcare more than ever. Visiting museums, traveling, and organizing my own editorial shoots have been my saving grace. People do not understand the withdrawals that artists experience while not creating, which is why I do not open up to everyone about it. I have to be mindful of whose eyes I see myself through because not everyone has proper vision.
In what ways have you become the woman you have always wanted to be? How has your idea of that woman changed over time?
I am a woman who cannot live my life being dependent on other sources of energy or income. I love being independent. You have to learn how to vibe alone. You have to appreciate your ability to be self-sufficient. I have never needed to be around a group of females to feel popular or have a man provide for me. I get the bag on my own. I am my own best friend. I believe that you give your power away when you make things outside of you your source.
My ideas of womanhood are always shifting because I am still growing and learning. As a woman, I do not see boundaries. I do not believe in social gender norms. I do not believe women have to soft-spoken or silent. I believe that women are born beautiful as our natural selves and should not feel the need to be manufactured for the worship or scorn of others. I do not believe women are supposed to act like ladies. What does that even mean? I find that offensive.
I do believe that womanhood is realizing that I can be whoever I want to be on my own terms. Knowing that I have a choice and a say over my mind and body. With that said, I stand tall in that truth.
What themes or questions have been most emergent for you of late?
How can I practice a healthier holistic lifestyle? Holistic healthy living involves treating ourselves as multi-dimensional, complex beings that are affected by many factors. These factors range from what you eat, physical activity levels, your thinking patterns, relationships in your lives, stress and much more. Exercise, proper nutrition, spiritual growth, paying attention to how you truly feel and developing a mind-body connection are all important aspects of living a holistic approach to health.
How do you show up for yourself?
By giving myself space. If it does not make me happy or agree with my spirit, then I cannot afford it. My energy is on a strict budget. I believe that self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. Sometimes I have to practice saying NO to people and avoid putting myself in certain environments because my spirit is sensitive. I cannot be around a lot of negativity and lifeless energy.
I need days to be alone so I can recharge. I do not allow myself to get comfortable around people who are full of drama. I love from a distance - even when it comes to certain family members because I have to protect my peace at all cost. Sometimes divorcing toxic family members and an old acquaintance can be a form a self-love.
What has been the most life-changing thing that happened this year? And why?
I have two. Visiting Cairo, Egypt in March and learning that I was expecting in August.
Culturally, Egypt is one of the most ancient civilizations in the world. I had the opportunity to see with my eyes and touch the Pyramids. I rode a camel in Giza. Drank tea with locals. Sailed down the Nile River. I tried new foods and visited the Mediterranean sea. That trip changed my entire perspective of the world. The Egyptians I met were the most generous, intelligent and noble human beings I ever conversed with. The level of hospitality that I experienced there was second to none. The humility of the Egyptians caused conviction within me to be a better human. I also gained so much because it was a front row seat in a history class I never had the privilege to take.
Also, learning that I was pregnant in August was the moment I realized the rest of my life was officially beginning. I have visited 13 countries, lived in 4 states, and attended 4 different colleges all by the age of 27. However, none of that can compare to the transition that I am experiencing today. I am about to be a mother. I will give birth to a human being next April. I have never felt so powerful.
What do you look forward to the most after becoming a mother?
Loving the hell out of my baby. Nursing my baby from my own breast. Speaking life into them (he or she). Learning how to become a parent along with Darrin. Providing a safe environment as well as a supportive one. Introducing my child to God. Teaching my child about their beautiful history and existence. Showing my child the world. Allowing them to be as creative as they want to be. There are so many things.
I am also honored to share this life-changing moment with Darrin. I have no doubt in my mind that he will be the best father to our child. I could not imagine having this moment with anymore else.
What are three of your favorite quotes?
“The next time he points out the hair on your legs is growing back - remind that boy your body is not his home. He is a guest. Warn him to never outstep his welcome again.”
-Rupi Kaur
“Baby girl, respect is just a minimum.”
-Lauryn Hill
“We are not fighting for integration, nor are we fighting for separation. We are fighting for recognition as human beings...In fact, we are actually fighting for rights that are even greater than civil rights and that is human rights.”
-Malcolm X